★Brent corrigan的自述以及访谈

我插~~~~~~~~~~~~~吼吼~~~~~~~~~~~~~

回复：3楼
好吧，你狠
第一篇就被审核了 杯具

我飞奔而来

我还没干什么活就把我名字挂上去了...
你这不是给我压力嘛

回复：6楼
嘿嘿嘿嘿知道就好

理直气壮的插

Part 2: In Deep 身陷泥潭
翻译：SAITOJINALICE

I took the opportunity last week as a guest columnist here at JasonCurious.com to set up a little bit of the HOW I got involved in the industry. Before I continue on, please allow me to elaborate a little on my situation at home. My home life and my situation with my family had a lot to do with my vulnerability to the world at large.
上周我有幸获得在JasonCurious.Com专栏接受访问的机会，解释我为什么会涉及这个行业。在我继续之前，请允许我阐述一下我的家庭状况。我的家庭生活以及我和家人相处的情况成为我最大的弱点。
By the time I was 16, my relationship with my family was pretty much non-existent. Growing up in my family it wasn’t encouraged to show a lot of love to each other. I just remember a lot of hate, fighting, and yelling. My parents (my step father and my mother) divorced when I was in third grade. I don’t mean to be so hard on them, but both of my parents are alcoholics. Growing up, I don’t recall ever having a positive adult role-model.
当我16岁时，我和家人的关系非常不好。我所成长的家庭里并不鼓励相互表达出太多的爱意。我只记得许多的厌恶，争论和叫喊。我的父母（我的继父和我的母亲）在我三年级时离婚。我并不是要批评他们，但是我的父母都是酒鬼。我想不起在我的成长过程中曾有过积极的成人榜样。
When my mother moved to California, I saw a clear opportunity to get away from the mess of negativity that my family represented to me. Even back then, at 16, I knew that if I was going to make something of myself, I was going to have to do it myself. I knew my family wasn’t ever going to do anything that would support me. I felt like if I didn’t take that chance, I might never get another.
当我妈妈搬到加利福尼亚，我发现了一个全新的机会来摆脱我的家庭对我的消极的影响。现在回想，16岁那时，我知道自己得做点什么，自己一个人去做。我知道我的家庭不会做什么支持我的事情。我感觉如果不把握这个机会，将不会再有下一个机会。


Bryan refused the terms and dismissed the allegation. Despite this, Jonathan’s spiteful and vindictive nature took control and he divulged the information to Bryan about me. Immediately after this AIM conversation took place, Bryan was on the phone to me inquiring about the truth. However, in our conversation Bryan’s concern appeared to be centered more on what would and could happen to me if it was verified I was 17. He spoke of fraud; that it was a federal crime. He told me that if the FBI were to get involved that I would be held solely responsible for the crime because he had done every thing within accordance of the law. It was expressed to me that if I was 17 it would become a very big deal in the eyes of the media and that at the very least my mother and my whole family would learn of my brief adult career.
Bryan拒绝了条件并反驳了他的说法。尽管这样，Jonathan怀恨和报复的天性占了上风，他把关于我的信息悉数告诉Bryan。在和Jonathan谈话之后，Bryan立即给我打电话问我实情。然而，在我们的谈话中Bryan的重点在于如果我被证实只有17岁将会发生什么事。他谈到了诈骗；这是联邦罪。他跟我说如果FBI介入的话，我得自己承担责任，因为他所做的一切都是合法的。这表示如果我17岁的话，这将成为媒体眼中的大新闻，至少我母亲和我整个家庭将知道我短暂的成人行业生涯。
Though I was worried, confused, and felt utterly alone and conflicted, Bryan remained a constant entity in my life. With all the questions and uncertainty surrounding my age, he made it priority to maintain tabs on me.
虽然我担心，困扰并且觉得极度的孤单和矛盾，Bryan在我的生命中仍然是一个不变的存在。关于我年龄的所有质疑，Bryan帮我解决了大部分的问题。
The response from Poolboy was so outstanding that despite all the unrest about my age, Bryan took the first opportunity to get me back in front of the camera. Well educated on my money issues and knowing what had happened to the first check, Bryan proposed the second film: Schoolboy Crush. Though I was worried about my secret becoming known and suffering the consequences; it was still only an abstract possibility. However, my degenerating relationship with Jake and the insecurity at home with my mother was all a reality. THAT was there and then; in my face I was living it every day. Bryan continued to present me with the quickest way out, and that was Cobra Video.
Poolboy是如此的不同凡响，除了对我的年龄有不满，Bryan在第一时间将我拉回镜头前。在第一次核帐并解决了我的金钱问题之后，Bryan提议了第二部电影：Schoolboy Crush。虽然我担心秘密会曝光，后果不堪设想；但这仍然只是一个抽象的可能。可是，我和Jake关系的恶化、在家里同母亲关系的不稳定却是事实。这就是当时的情况; 我每天都需要面对的事。Bryan继续使我以最快的方式出道，那就是Cobra Video。


To help validate my second video, I promised myself I would do the work to get where I needed and then turn my back on the industry until I felt my bad decisions could no longer haunt me.
为了让我的第二部片子拍的下去，我对自己承诺，做完这些工作，得到我想要的，我就退出。（我不断说服自己）直到这个坏决定不再让我提心吊胆。
Bryan arranged the second shoot over a weekend. He mapped out an excuse for me to give my mom as to where I would be that weekend. We shot in La Jolla, CA. It was arranged by Bryan that both Chase McKenzie and Brent Everett would share a bed in one of the rooms and Bryan and I would share the other bed in the other room. When these arrangements were made Bryan expressed that because Chase and Brent were ex-boyfriends they could share a bed. He insisted I bunk with him because he did not believe I would get sufficient sleep on the couch. He concluded I was the star and I needed to be in the best condition. All of my interaction with Bryan up until this point had been nothing less of professional; therefore I did not feel threatened by rooming with him.
Bryan在一个周末安排了第二次拍摄。他帮我想好了一个借口，好让我告诉妈妈我周末会在哪里。我们在加州的拉霍亚拍摄。Bryan安排Chase McKenzie和 Brent Everett在一个房间睡一张床，我和Bryan在另一个房间同睡一床。Bryan说他这么安排是因为Chase和Brent原来是一对，所以他们能一起睡。他强调要我和他一起睡是因为他不相信我在沙发上能睡好。他总结说因为我是明星所以我需要在最好的状态。所有我和Bryan的互动到在这时都还是很专业的;所以我并不觉得和他在同一间房有什么威胁。
On the second night of the shoot, Bryan bought alcohol after dinner to celebrate a job well-done. This was April-May of 2004, my junior year in high school. At the time, I was 5’5’’ and weighed 110 lbs. Drinking was not a custom I was familiar with and my tolerance for alcohol was very weak.
在拍摄的第二天，Bryan买来些酒来庆祝工作顺利完成。那时是2004年的四五月，我正在上高中三年级。那时，我身高5英尺5英寸，体重110磅。我并不常喝酒而且我的酒量也很小。
Bryan waited until the second night when I had alcohol in my system to make a move on me. I remember Bryan whispering, “I’ve wanted this for so long . . .” At that age, I still had yet to learn the power of “no” and I allowed it to happen. The next day, I was completely embarrassed and I tried not to let on to anyone what had happened.
Bryan一直等到第二晚上酒精开始对我起作用。我记得Bryan对我耳语，“我已经等这很久了. . . . . . ”在那个年纪，我还不懂得说‘不’的力量，于是允许事情发生。第二天，我非常的困窘，极力不让任何人知道发生了什么事。


At the time, I was not out and I was still somewhat ashamed of my homosexuality, let alone having participated in gay p0rn. Bryan knew this and was aware that if my family were to learn of my adult work, I would be shamed and embarrassed. At age 17, these types of feelings rule your world! The things he said became a message that resounded loud and clear in my head: If I wasn’t 18 my life would quickly become nothing short of a living nightmare. I assured Bryan I was in fact 18. In my mind I had no other choice. After this happened, a few incidents here and there cropped up which spurred the same reaction from Bryan. Each time Bryan would repeat the same scenarios in more graphic detail so that I might understand the severity of it all and his version of the consequences. The message was simple: as long I presented ID and continued to maintain that I was 18 then I would not have to worry about getting into any trouble.
当时，我还没有出柜，我对于自己是同性恋感到有些羞愧，更不用说进入同性恋色（和谐）情行业。Bryan深知这点并警告我，如果我的家人知道我的成人作品，我将多么羞耻和尴尬。在17岁，这类感受主宰了你的整个世界。他所说的这些成为一条信息一直在我脑中大声清晰的回响着：如果我不是18岁，我的生活将很快成为一个不折不扣的噩梦。我向Bryan保证我已经18岁了。在我的脑海中这别无选择。在之后发生的事情，一些随处会碰到的事情刺激了Bryan的同样的反应。每次Bryan重复同样的情节时使我知道了他说的所有结果的严重性。这个信息很简单：只要我拿出身丨份证并继续坚持我是18岁，我就不必担心任何麻烦。
In my relationship with Jake, I had been exposed to some of the shadiest aspects of life and Los Angeles. Back when Jake was introducing me to Los Angeles, we drove through MacArthur Park. MacArthur Park, as I remember it, is a place near downtown where lots of seemingly shady things take place. After the second shoot, I remembered Jake telling me where underage kids who wanted to get into clubs or buy alcohol could go to get identification that could pass as “government issued”. As he told me this, we drove down Alvarado by the park. I remember looking out the car window witnessing what appeared to be migrant workers holding up their index and thumb fingers mouthing the word, “ID!”
在我和Jake还未分手时，我曾接触过一些来自生活和洛杉矶的阴暗面。那时，Jake带我去洛杉矶，我们开车经过MacArthur公园。我记得MacArthur公园在市中心附近，那地方很乱。在第二次拍摄之后，我记得Jake告诉过我，在那未成年人想要进入俱乐部或者买酒都可以弄到身丨份证，可以说是“政丨府下发”了。当他告诉我这个，我们正开车经过阿尔瓦拉多(Alvarado)前往公园。我记得透过车窗我看到那些看起来像移居工人的人举起他们的食指和拇指说着“身丨份证！”（指帮人伪造身丨份证，就像国内那些办证广告）
Based on the things Bryan had said to me, I believed my only option was to provide him with an ID that read I was 18. Looking back, now armed with the truth, I understand it was yet another wrong decision on my part. If I had been advised with the truth, swallowed my pride, and admitted my pitfalls fewer people might have been affected by all this. I can’t help but feel that if I had openly talked about the situation with an adult then matters at hand might have been dealt with in a just and lawful manner. Instead, because I chose to believe the misinformation Bryan was able to handle it his way (stifle it, police my every move and filter my involvement in the industry).
基于Bryan对我说的事情，我相信唯一的选择就是给他一个身丨份证，上面写着我已18。现在回想，老实说，我知道这对我而言又是一个错误的决定。如果我被告知真相，咽下我的骄傲，并承认我的失误，受我影响的人将更少。我不禁觉得，如果我公开的和大人讨论这个情况，可能眼下的这些问题能以更公正合法的方式处理。相反，我选择了相信Bryan，误以为他可以解决所有问题，以他的方式（扼杀问题，监视我的一举一动，并减少我在业界的活动）。


我是巨讨厌和谐的一名

加油加油哦

增美好～～～
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