他站起身，抚平刚才坐下时裤子上的褶皱，他觉得不被需要以及被利用了的感觉，更可怕的是，他从来没有想到这样的事情真的会发生。她再一次看向他，眼神中但 着些恳求，可是他不知道她究竟想让他怎么做。
“告诉我……”他想都没想地脱口而出。
“我不能说。”她小声说，雨点在风的帮助下再次猛烈地拍打在 他们的身上。她口袋中的手机在震动，不用看他也知道会是谁打给她的。她呼出一大口气，听起来就像是一种释放，一种解脱。他们吵架了么？她以为他不会打给自 己么？他简直无法想象这种一连数年她都一直渴望着Nate的不安全感。 

"You should answer it," he tells her. She pulls it out of her pocket, and does just that. He tells himself she wouldn't have if he hadn't told her to, but it's a lie. He listens to her whisper softly into the phone. She greets him, she apologizes, and she assures him he wasn't in the wrong. She tells him she understands his point of view, and that she never meant to upset him. Dan wants to puke right there on the Palace steps. They talk for a few more minutes, and she starts to smile. Her eyes even turn a brighter shade of blue. The storm is passing, but then it returns suddenly. He's not sure what Nate says, but her face goes a shade greyer, and her eyes become downcast again. She murmurs a quick goodbye and then hangs up.
"Is everything okay?" He can't stop himself from asking. She shakes her head, but offers no more explanation. Anger rises up taking him by surprise, and making him sound sharper than he wishes. "I don't want to play games, Serena."
"No games," she agrees, but still says nothing more. 

“你应该接那个电话。”他对她说。她从口袋中拎出手机，按照他说的做了。他告诉自己，如果刚刚自己没有那样说，她就不会这样做，当然，这只是自欺欺人。他听着她对着话筒轻柔温和的话语，她向他问好，向他道歉，向他担保他没有做错，错的是她。她告诉他，她明白他的意思，她从来没有想要有意让他不开心。Dan想要立刻走到皇宫酒店的台阶那里去大吐特吐，这实在太恶心了。他们又讲了几分钟以后，她开始笑了，就连她蓝色的眼睛都开始变得明亮起来。暴风雨终于过去，可是新的暴风雨又来临了。他不确定Nate说了些什么，不过她的脸色又开始阴沉下来，眼睛又一次失去了光芒。她简短的说了句再见就挂断了电话。
“还好么？”他难以自控地问道，她摇了摇头，可是并不想解释。他突然地感觉到体内一股气恼猛然而生，他大吼道，“Serena，我不想跟你做什么游戏。”
“不是游戏。”她回应道，随后又沉寂下来。


"Tell me." This time it's a demand. She remains silence and he thinks she'll leave him hanging. But then she reaches out to him and pulls him back down beside her. He once again ignores the wet bench, and instead focuses on the feel of her soft hand on his damp skin. He wants to savor this touch, because he's afraid it will be their last.
"I'm sorry," she says, and it's ripped from somewhere deep inside her. The dam has broken and she begins crying again. She leans into Dan's chest, and he holds her. It's not lost on him that she's crying over another guy, but he can't bear to turn her away.
"Tell me," he whispers again.


“告诉我。”这一次，他的语气更像是在审问。她依旧保持沉默，他觉得她很快就要离开自己了。可是她又回在他走远之前把他再拽回来，如此若即若离。他再一次不顾长凳的潮湿，坐在她的旁边，他试图不要再胡思乱想，转而代之，再一次握住了她冰冷柔软的手。他细细的感受着这份感觉，因为他很怕这会是最后一次。
“对不起。”她说，发自内心的。防线再一次崩溃，她又开始大哭起来。她靠在Dan的胸前，他搂着她。很明显，她是在为了另一个男人而哭泣，可是他却无法把她丢在那里一走了之。
“跟我说说。”他又一次轻声要求道。


“我不能说。”她轻柔地回应道。他不知道她是在保护谁？他，她自己，还是Nate，或许她是在努力地避免三个人之间的纷争，虽然，她的努 力并没有达到预期的效果。他们都知道这一点。她和Nate正在吵架，而自己也更加苦闷。虽然Vanessa是这段四角恋的另一个角，可是看起来却更像是三 角恋一般。
“你必须告诉我。”他用不带有任何感情丄色彩的声音说道。他已经做好准备来承受故事的来龙去脉了，他已经做好准备放手 了。他一直是为了她而活着的，为她改变了所有他可以改变的，而这一切却是那么的微不足道，他终于看清了这一切。相比于她的王子，他只是一个马夫罢了，然而 这个女孩朝思暮想的却只有她的王子，虽然连她自己都不曾意识到这一点。他的头发是棕色的，而不是金色的；他的眼睛也是棕色的，而不是蓝色的；他身上的所有 都不是她所想要的，而她终于发现了这一点。他并不觉得Nate是那个值得拥有她的人，不过，这已经不重要了。
“我很糟糕……”

He wants to shake her until she finally spits it out, but he doesn't move. He keeps holding her, and rubbing her back. He's soothing the girl who is about to rip him to shreds, but what else is he supposed to do. He's the good guy, not the villain. He can't throw her away like Chuck Bass would if he were Dan. He can't ignore her like Nate has for all these years. So he'll take his lumps, and hope he finds his way to the other side.
"I need to know." His voice cracks when he says this, and she looks up to meet his eyes. He see's guilt, and pain, and doubt. He wonders what she's afraid of. He wonders if she ever really loved him. He hopes she did, because he knows he's never loved anyone the way he loves her.
"It's stupid really," she pulls back from him, and wipes at her eyes. She pastes on a perfectly fake smile, and begins to brush it all away. Dan is so tempted to just let her. "Nate and I had a little fight… it was nothing… I'm acting like a freak."

“我不能说。”她轻柔地回应道。他不知道她是在保护谁？他，她自己，还是Nate，或许她是在努力地避免三个人之间的纷争，虽然，她的努力并没有达到预期的效果。他们都知道这一点。她和Nate正在吵架，而自己也更加苦闷。虽然Vanessa是这段四角恋的另一个角，可是看起来却更像是三角恋一般。
“你必须告诉我。”他用不带有任何感情色彩的声音说道。他已经做好准备来承受故事的来龙去脉了，他已经做好准备放手了。他一直是为了她而活着的，为她改变了所有他可以改变的，而这一切却是那么的微不足道，他终于看清了这一切。相比于她的王子，他只是一个马夫罢了，然而这个女孩朝思暮想的却只有她的王子，虽然连她自己都不曾意识到这一点。他的头发是棕色的，而不是金色的；他的眼睛也是棕色的，而不是蓝色的；他身上的所有都不是她所想要的，而她终于发现了这一点。他并不觉得Nate是那个值得拥有她的人，不过，这已经不重要了。
“我很糟糕……”


他忍不住想要抓住她的肩狂摇直到她愿意吐露出实情，可是他没有这么做，他就只是握着她的手，抚着她的背。他在安慰着这个即将把他的心一片片撕碎的女孩，可是他又该怎么做呢？他是一个好男人，他无法像混蛋Chuck Bass那样一走了之。他无法像Nate那样这么多年来一直忽视着她的感情。所以他只能握住手中的一线光芒，希望能够找到出口。
“我需要知道。”他嘶吼着，她抬起眼皮看着他的眼睛。他从她的眼神中看到了罪恶感，看到了伤痛，看到了犹豫不决。他想要知道她到底在担心些什么，他想要知道她到底又没有爱过自己。他希望她有过，因为他知道自己不会再想爱她一样爱任何一个人。
“这是很丢脸的一件事，真的。”她推开他，抹了抹眼睛，展示出一个完美的假笑，随后笑容就消失了。Dan任由她整理者自己的思绪。“Nate和我有些小小的争执……根本不是什么大不了的事情……我表现得就像一个懦夫一样。”


When she says his name it cuts like a knife through Dan, and he knows he can't go on like this anymore. Nate is a f_сking ghost haunting their relationship, and he's never going to give Dan any peace. Dan misses that idyllic first year with Serena when Nate was too busy being a moron to really fight for her, and Serena was still feeling too guilty over Blair to really look at him. Dan had her then, he had her whole heart he thinks. But Nate woke up, and so did Serena. He remembers their kiss at the white party – they fit so well together.
"You love him." Dan says this as fact, because he knows it is. She opens her mouth to deny him, but he can see the moment when her eyes change, and her mouth shuts softly. She never tells him he's wrong, she just begins crying again. She doesn't lean into him this time though, and he's greatful for that.


当她说出他的名字就像刀割一样刺痛着Dan的心，他知道自己无法再继续忍受下去了，Nate这个混蛋像幽灵一样毁了他们之间的感情，一点都没有留给自己。Dan怀念和Serena童话般美好的第一年的感情，当时Nate正忙着当一个彻头彻尾的大白痴而没有闲暇来插足他们之间，而Serena也一直对Blair感到愧疚而不敢太接近他。那是，她是属于Dan的，全心全意的。可是Nate突然觉醒了，Serena也在同一时刻醒悟过来，他犹然记得他们两个在White Party上的亲吻，他们是如此的相配。
“你爱的是他。”Dan说出了这个事实，因为他知道，现实就是如此。她张开嘴想要否认，可是他看到了她眼睛中的光芒在那一瞬间的改变，她转而合上了嘴。她没有向他解释这一切都不是真的，她没有反驳，她只是继续哭了起来，只不过这一次她没有再靠向他，而他感到了一丝庆幸。


"I don't mean to," she whispers. She sounds like a little child, and he aches for her, and him, and everything that is about to happen. Nate will f_сk it up. Dan knows he will. Serena probably knows Nate will too, but love is love. You don't choose. Dan definitely wouldn't have chosen her, but he's glad she chose him for the short amount of time she did.
"I know." He puts his hand over hers and lets it rest for a moment. Then he stands up again, and heads for the street. He'll splurge on a cab, and get back over the bridge as fast as he can. Brooklyn has never sounded so good before. The Upper East Side has broken his heart.


“我不是故意的。”她小声说，此刻的她就像是一个小孩子，他为她，为他，还有一切接下来将要发生的事情感到一阵心痛。Nate终将TMD得逞，Dan知道他会的，Serena大概也知道。可是，这就是爱，你没的选择。Dan绝对不会选择要爱上她，不过他很开心，她曾短暂的选择了自己。
“我明白。”他把手放在她的手上，停留了片刻后，再一次站了起来，像街边走去。他会奢侈地打一辆车，然后以最快的速度奔回他车库一样的家，布鲁克林从来没有像此时此刻听起来这样美好过。上东区伤了他的心，狠狠地碾碎了。


虫虫真是太油菜花鸟~~~抱抱~~~


虫虫素勤劳的好宝宝～