我觉得那种压力，是自己给的，自己的命运给的。

然后，忽然觉得，回国的快乐并不属于这个年纪的我。熬过这一段，我会骄傲地说出那句话。Let's hope so. Let's do so.

it's always harsh to start fresh and i've exhausted of moving livelihood to "the end of the world", that's a typical dutch comment on the city i'm now living in. No market in the neighbourhood, no postoffice, no restaurant, no, nothing, annoying turks creeping everywhere...it's just like a refugee camp at the border...

I don't like in Enschede. Maybe it's just not familiar to me, maybe i'm still regretting having my previous career ended in such a humiliating way. But it's a true unfriendly feeling that now besieging me. What's worse is that you don't literally have any other option but to challenge this fuss...

I hope it won't last long and may God be with me.

Hopefully, there is always a way to perceive, feeling the world that embraced me, I am more than delightful to know that I am not the one left in steppes.

Hopefully, there is always a way to observe, seeing those people that loved me, I am quite content to realise that I am not the one drown in abyss.

Hopefully, there is always a way to strive, following even the tiniest inspiration in my mind, I am proud to present that every phenomenal deed once had its humble start.

It's been a long time. Not quite knowing whether you're still at the university or elsewhere, sometimes I'm missing you. As probably you were some of whom taught me quite much about all of these.

Still feeling stressed out from time to time but I'm getting better.

Really sorry that you've missed one of my letters, and I will surely try again. Give me your current address if you don't mind, and I'll check before sending it.

Going to bed~

I have been through so much in October since I became 20. I do value the duties on my shoulders and observe the convention of manhood. With the weather having gone even colder, I shall surely straighten my back and embrace the incoming storm. I am perfectly aware that at this moment I am young though, yet meanwhile becoming old, obsolete and forgotten. Either to perform or to perish. It's sad to accept that. Being a man, to me, is to cope with the time being. If it is the disguised brutality that prevails the world, performing is the only way out then.I

新年好！