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【英语】有没有大佬帮忙看看有没有错误

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IP属地:江西来自Android客户端1楼2024-11-04 20:16回复
    第5行: daily lives
    第6行: they find it
    第7行: want to pursue
    第10行: abilities
    第11行: content adj. be content with
    有些pressure 可以替换成stress,不然太重复了


    IP属地:广东来自Android客户端2楼2024-11-04 21:44
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      看得人一头问号


      IP属地:河南3楼2024-11-05 08:20
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        真相有点残酷,你要不要听?


        IP属地:上海来自Android客户端4楼2024-11-05 11:42
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          看得我一脸黑线,楼主真得在演讲里这么说,确定不会被打吗?


          IP属地:四川5楼2024-11-05 16:54
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            Title: The Pursuit of Happiness
            Ladies and Gentlemen,
            Good [morning/afternoon/evening], esteemed guests, and fellow dreamers,
            Today, I stand before you with a heart full of gratitude and a mind brimming with thoughts on a topic that resonates deeply within the core of our being – the pursuit of happiness. It is a journey that has captivated philosophers, poets, artists, and every single soul that has ever walked on this earth. Happiness, this elusive yet ever-enticing state of mind, is not merely a destination but a voyage, a quest that shapes our lives and defines our existence.
            At the dawn of humanity, our ancestors sought happiness in the simplest of pleasures: a fulfilling meal, a warm shelter, and the companionship of loved ones. As civilizations evolved, so did our aspirations. We began to chase material wealth, academic achievements, and societal statuses, believing these to be the keys to unlocking the doors of happiness. Yet, in the midst of our relentless pursuit, we often find ourselves asking, "Is this all there is?"
            The truth is, happiness is not found in the accumulation of things but in the cultivation of our minds and hearts. It lies in the quiet moments of reflection, in the laughter shared with friends, in the love we give and receive, and in the fulfillment derived from pursuing our passions with unwavering dedication. Happiness is a choice, a decision we make every day to see the beauty in life, even in its darkest hours.
            But let us not be fooled into thinking that the pursuit of happiness is an easy path. It requires courage, resilience, and a willingness to embrace vulnerability. We must dare to dream big, to set our sights on the horizon, and to pursue those dreams with unyielding determination. At the same time, we must also learn to let go of expectations, to accept that life's journey is unpredictable and that happiness, at times, comes in the most unexpected forms.
            In our quest, it is crucial to remember the importance of self-awareness. We must understand our own needs, desires, and limitations. By nurturing our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, we create a fertile ground for happiness to take root and flourish. This means practicing mindfulness, fostering gratitude, and engaging in activities that bring us joy and fulfillment.
            Moreover, the pursuit of happiness is inherently interconnected. Our well-being is intertwined with the well-being of those around us. Acts of kindness, empathy, and compassion not only enrich the lives of others but also reflect back on us, amplifying our own sense of happiness. In giving, we receive; in loving, we find love.
            As we embark on this journey, let us remember that happiness is not a static state but a dynamic process. It evolves with us, responding to the changes in our lives, our relationships, and our inner landscapes. Therefore, we must be flexible, adaptable, and ever-willing to learn and grow.
            In conclusion, the pursuit of happiness is a lifelong adventure, a treasure hunt within ourselves and the world around us. It is a testament to our humanity, a celebration of life's infinite possibilities. Let us embrace this journey with open hearts, minds, and arms, knowing that in every step we take, in every challenge we face, and in every victory we achieve, we are drawing closer to that elusive yet ever-present state of pure, unadulterated happiness.
            Thank you.


            IP属地:广东6楼2024-11-05 18:31
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              拿给ai批改


              IP属地:贵州来自Android客户端7楼2024-11-05 19:11
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                for the most people改成for more people感觉更符合个人语感。
                study和work本身的名词是不是够用了,需要加ing来体现学习和工作两项事务吗?
                然后就是前边是他们很难,后边是我们应该,感觉不太合理,把we直接改成people会不会更简单粗暴一些,或者把前边很难的人加一个include me然后改成we。
                want to purse


                IP属地:天津8楼2024-11-06 11:05
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                  就表达虽然平庸但是因果也是说的比较清楚 如果不追求深入内容也是一次符合年级的简报了


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                  IP属地:四川来自Android客户端9楼2024-11-07 01:31
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                    下个ai能改,还能润色


                    IP属地:湖北来自Android客户端11楼2024-12-08 21:17
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                      IP属地:南非来自iPhone客户端12楼2024-12-15 22:23
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                        你这一篇怎么连一个从句都没有啊


                        IP属地:广西来自Android客户端13楼2025-01-31 18:19
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                          语法错误:1. want to 后面加pursue原形;2. contented错误,content就是形容词;3. 搭配不当 get happiness- find happiness;4. 复数daily lifes-lives;5. 搭配不当 relieve(物理释放压力)- reduce;6. 句子问题 Because尽量不要做句子的开头,可以与前句合并; 逻辑内容问题:1⃣️过于中式和口语化,高级表达特别少。比如give speech换成deliver,然后“我的演讲题目是…”就很中式,换成my speech is about,虽然意思一样但会更地道。但还有一个问题就是作为文章的开头和结尾是很重要的,所以哪怕你中间的内容水,开头和结尾也要写出水平。比如你可以用一个问句开头,标新立异,吸引阅卷老师注意力。你可以想象写中文作文时候会怎么写,实在不会的话可以去背一些模版;2⃣️要给出实用且逻辑能自洽的建议,并且要有条理。平时可以多积累和思考,如何追求幸福,你说释放压力、提高能力和降低对幸福的标准(?),有一些逻辑是不合理的,就像李佳琦嘲讽打工人一样,你可以用那种万能的逻辑,比如实现自我价值和社会贡献之类的。另外,不要轻易的用so,因为so需要考虑上下文的衔接。比如你文章说很多人处于压力之下追求幸福快乐很困难,所以你认为…?哪来的所以?又因为什么呢?这个so应该是出现在原因后面,原因—so—现象才对。
                          有条理性指的是英语作文必须要分点,老师是看点给分的,因此你应该多用一些序数词,比如Firstly,secondly,thirdly…这样分点就清晰明了;这个你做的还挺好,都有。但不要局限于then,or这种简单词汇。
                          结尾的逻辑也不对,结尾作为总结性语言,并且是演讲稿,正是升华主题和鼓舞人心的好时候,你简单就说追求幸福是积极的标志就结束了,浪费了升华主题的机会。如果前文你提到了压力下追求幸福很困难,这里你就可以呼应一下说虽然追求幸福的过程很艰难,但追求幸福的我们最美丽什么的……


                          IP属地:四川来自iPhone客户端15楼2025-02-10 08:27
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