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u/Automatic_Hedgehog71
1 day ago
What is the silliest statement you have ever heard someone make?
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level 1
JustMeerkats
·23 hr. ago
I worked at a place that gave a military discount.
Family (mom, dad, adult son, adult daughter) walked in. Dad was reading the prices and pointed out to the son that he could get a discount!
This kid takes the sign, reads it, and says, as God is my witness:
"I'm not in the military. I'm in the Army."
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我在一家军品店工作，那里对军人有折扣。
有一次，一家人爸爸妈妈和成年的儿子女儿晃悠进来， 老爹看了看价格单然后跟他儿子说他可以拿到折扣。
儿子看了看标签，然后跟他老爹，我向上帝保证我没有扯淡：“我不是军人，我是陆军。”
level 2
the_ceiling_of_sky
·19 hr. ago
The dude is wasted in the Army. He's clearly Marine material.
老哥在陆军是真屈才了，是去马润当四等人的好苗子
level 3
yoshimamas
If he's infantry or armored cav, he's right where he should be, I promise. Lol!!
如果他是步兵或者装甲游骑兵的话，那他就没去错地方。

ghostbungalow
·1 day ago·edited 14 hr. ago
“How did they get the paint all the way up the sides?” -Middle-aged woman touring the Meteor Crater in AZ.
“That’s not paint, those are the actual colors of the rock” -Her husband, giving her a long stare and walking away.
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“他们是怎么把漆刷到那么高的边上的？” 一个中年阿姐在亚利桑那大陨石坑边上说了这么一句
“额那不是油漆这地方的石头就是这色（shai）的”-她丈夫狠狠的瞪了她一眼之后走开了
（那地方长这样：

22 hr. ago
I had a boss say “oh you don’t want kids, you should just have one to try it out”.
Really, and what happens if I find out that I truly don’t want kids? Can we just put it back where it came from?
我老板曾经说过，“啥？你不喜欢孩子吗？ 那你应该生个孩子试试自己是不是真的不喜欢。”
我tm大白目，要是试试之后还是很不喜欢咋办？还能退货吗

Five_Star_Amenities
·1 day ago
A friend of mine said she got more tanned when riding her bike than she did when walking because on her bike, she was "closer to the sun".
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我有个朋友（典）说过她骑自行车的时候更容易晒伤，因为比起走路来骑车“离太阳近点儿”
level 2
Thbbbt_Thbbbt
·22 hr. ago
This just reminded me of a time I was out on a boat with a big group of people and one of them said “I’m so glad it’s windy, I won’t get sunburned” they thought the wind would push the light away from their skin. I was the only one to say it definitely doesn’t work like that and I could tell they thought I was wrong.
773
我听过一个人说过“真幸运今天风挺大，不然就会晒伤了。” 他们似乎以为风能把阳光吹走一样， 我试图向他们解释这其中的原理，但是很明显他们觉得我是弱智。
level 3
Iambeejsmit
·16 hr. ago
You just don't feel the heat from the sun on your skin as much when it's windy. By the time you feel it it's worse.
你只是在刮风的时候感觉不到热量而已，而这种情况你在感觉到晒伤的时候就已经太晚了。
楼主：（惨痛经历， 去玩漂流的时候觉得无所谓没涂防晒，水凉凉的完全没感觉， 爽玩3个小时之后发现两条腿晒出丝袜。 白人同事们两个星期就下去了， 我这6月晒得到现在还没下去）

Earlier today I offered a cough drop upon my flight’s landing to the lady wet coughing right behind me the whole flight.
“Oh, no thanks, I’m not sick. I just went to Oregon and have felt awful the whole time since”
Okay…so…sick?
今天早些时候我坐飞机后面有个女士一路带沫咳嗽了一路，下飞机的时候我问她需不需要一些止咳露。
“哦哦谢谢，我没病的！我只是去了俄勒冈之后感觉特别不好。”
Ok.。。。所以。。有病？
（双关ho？）
1 day ago
When my Uncle was a child he told his mom "I want to be a garbage man when I grow up because they only work one day a week".
Same guy also skipped school in 1st grade. He never got on the bus and wandered the neighborhood instead of going to school.
Legend.
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我叔叔小时候跟他妈妈说，“我长大想当开垃圾车的， 因为一周只工作一天。” （美国的社区基本上是一周收一次垃圾）
同样这家伙从一年级就开始翘课了，他直接没坐公交去学校，就在小区里闲逛。
level 2
Responsible_Ad8242
·1 day ago
Terribly ironic considering how hard of a job being a garbage man actually is.
挺讽刺的是垃圾工人这份工作还蛮辛苦的
ProudCatLadyxo
·1 day ago
A friend once said she couldn't take Southwest Airlines because she was flying east to Florida.
我一个朋友说她不能选西南航空（美国航运公司）的机票因为她要去的佛罗里达在东边。
level 2
ch4m3le0n
·23 hr. ago
How do they get the planes back? Do they repaint them as Northeast? Or do they just push them?
啊？ 他们怎么把飞机飞回来啊？ 难道他们把西南航空的标志涂成东北航空吗， 还是他们用推的。
level 3
frymeyourpoop
·22 hr. ago
They just keep flying south until they come back around.
他们一直向南飞绕地球一圈就回来了
level 4
thatdamnsqrl
·20 hr. ago
Checkmate, flat earthers!
啥玩意，地球是平的！！！！

level 1
BuckleupBirds
·1 day ago
A woman tried to send back a dish. She didn’t understand the components of it and tried to tell me that she couldn’t eat it because she was allergic to crunchy. Like yeah the texture. Not the ingredient that we had made crunchy.
一个老姐试图让我们重做一道菜，她不明白这菜有什么成分，试图跟我解释她不能吃“脆”的因为她有“脆过敏”，是的 不开玩笑，是那个口感不是他娘的成分。
level 2
Mavises
·16 hr. ago
LMAO. Makes me feel better about the guy who asked a friend (server) for ‘Mushroom risotto, but without the rice’.
哈哈哈哈哈我见过有个人点意大利奶油炒饭， “不要放米饭”。

——————————————————————————————————————————————————
我15岁时刚出国留学，寂寞想家时候在刷2ch；
20岁考大学追妹妹热血上头的时候在刷2ch；
25岁毕业找工作被生活毒打回家休息一下的时候在刷2ch；
现在30岁了，对生活的激情在慢慢减退，从一个人生的”冒险家“慢慢变成”建筑工“，但是我竟然还在刷2ch。
我非常喜欢这个吧， 喜欢她这种“轻松政键”的氛围。
硬要打比方就是月曜那样什么都沾一点但是有不会太深入，保持了成年人之间的体面和优雅。
在可持续的将来也会继续刷2ch吧！

我以为最后一条也是红迪的帖子。我一直觉得红迪是最像贴吧的，尤其有不少表情包。

违反吧规了，此处不准晒奇葩，10min后回来删

我班上两个女生讨论紫残 但是内容是什么刀拿来紫残又安全又酷

人杰地灵

佛州大舞台，有活你就来

T_T