1
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,330
等等，他有话说。
2
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,320
王倩
3
00:00:39,310 --> 00:00:41,060
王倩
4
00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:10,120
操你大爷！
5
00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:13,110
这个被游戏气得砸电视的是一小日本
6
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:15,000
他来中国大概一个月了
7
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,000
芳龄28，正是血气方刚
8
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,240
我受够了！
9
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,200
看我手指都他妈流血了！
10
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,300
都怪这破游戏！
11
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,000
我每天玩20个小时
12
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,980
每小时按键上万次
13
00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,000
我从来没为一款游戏付出这么多！
14
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,090
现在我算是知道了
15
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,000
根本没人能玩穿这2b游戏！
16
00:01:31,030 --> 00:01:33,000
你跟你的破游戏都去死吧！
17
00:01:33,041 --> 00:01:35,341
去死吧！！去死吧！！去死吧！！
18
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,900
这屋里的另外一个人叫李献计
19
00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:41,120
他温文尔雅、知书达理
20
00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:43,900
从来不会被冲动所控制
21
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:51,010
可那说的是他50岁以后
22
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,500
李献计当年25
23
00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:56,120
在悠久的中日友好关系史上
24
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,510
点下了小黑点儿
25
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:23,660
算上今天的，你已经7次把我打昏了
26
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,000
不到俩月，7次
27
00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:28,070
平均一个月3.5次
28
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,210
平均一个星期0.875次
29
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:34,000
平均每天0.125次
30
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,180
平均每小时0.005...
31
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,000
差不多行了，日本祥林嫂
32
00:02:37,005 --> 00:02:38,045
打击日本侵略者
33
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:40,890
是我们每个公民应尽的义务
34
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,300
可是私下里就咱俩吧
35
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,570
我是真不想欺负你
36
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,130
关键我控制不住自己
37
00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:50,050
我是一病人啊
38
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,320
李献计没瞎说
39
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:53,280
他得的这病叫差时症
40
00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:56,050
临床上表现为把一段很短的时间
41
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,790
在感觉上漫长化
42
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,740
就好比刚才那小日本
43
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,090
在被放倒之前
44
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,130
一共才抱怨了27秒
45
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,100
而在李献计眼里
46
00:03:05,405 --> 00:03:07,890


因为他分明记得
227
00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:31,530
几个小时前
228
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,353
第一次给买药姑娘打电话
229
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,202
是一个夏季的夜晚
230
00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:36,979
当时还下着雨
231
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:38,246
他砍价未遂
232
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,136
被姑娘二话没说挂了电话
233
00:11:40,971 --> 00:11:42,545
紧接着他又拨了第二次
234
00:11:43,423 --> 00:11:45,296
并约好在人民公园见面交易
235
00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,306
整个通话过程不超过5分钟
236
00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:50,968
而事实上这两次通话之间
237
00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:52,875
却相隔了整整一年半
238
00:11:53,718 --> 00:11:55,801
这便是差时症的第二种临床表现
239
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,531
把一段极长的时间
240
00:11:57,723 --> 00:11:59,355
在感官上短暂化
241
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,307
在这18个月里发生了许多事儿
242
00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:03,979
比如被拆毁的人民公园
243
00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:05,693
在人民的强烈抗议下
244
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,202
按原样重建了
245
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,124
接下来，应广大观众的热烈要求
246
00:12:10,527 --> 00:12:11,780
我们将着重介绍一下
247
00:12:12,016 --> 00:12:14,961
李献计迅速弄到50万的成功经验
248
00:12:23,355 --> 00:12:24,708
我必须得弄到50万
249
00:12:25,401 --> 00:12:26,205
康熙玉玺
250
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,260
值6000万
251
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:28,989
把它带到阿富汗
252
00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:30,555
就给你50万
253
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,320
怎么个带法
254
00:12:31,612 --> 00:12:32,984
我们知道你卖掉一个肾
255
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:34,410
玉玺可以放在那里
256
00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,285
所以你要做的就是
257
00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:37,107
换登机牌
258
00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:37,958
过安检
259
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,112
然后上飞机
260
00:12:39,704 --> 00:12:40,466
用你们的话说
261
00:12:40,555 --> 00:12:41,570
就是万无一失
262
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,083
你不能上飞机
263
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:45,249
管得着么，你哪位
264
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,132
C.I.A
265
00:12:46,484 --> 00:12:48,587
你被怀疑进行非法资金流动
266
00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:51,101
我们知道你在肚子里藏了什么
267
00:12:51,495 --> 00:12:55,233
但如果你同意把一颗小窃听器植入玉玺内
268
00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:56,809
我们就不逮捕你
269
00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,224
之后，当然
270
00:12:58,474 --> 00:13:00,169
你得继续把玉玺运给我们的
271
00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,169
“阿富汗朋友”
272


00:13:01,687 --> 00:13:03,261
那帮阿富汗商人安全么
273
00:13:03,364 --> 00:13:05,058
放心吧，都是良民
274
00:13:08,011 --> 00:13:09,412
你正在为美国工作
275
00:13:10,863 --> 00:13:11,652
对不对！
276
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:12,621
操，悲剧了
277
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,545
这些无知的老美
278
00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:17,056
越来越让人生厌
279
00:13:17,615 --> 00:13:20,129
当然，你今天将为此客死他乡
280
00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:22,789
吓唬谁啊，有本事拿枪把我给毙了
281
00:13:24,489 --> 00:13:26,304
在我离开后就杀了他
282
00:13:27,217 --> 00:13:28,079
一般人要这样
283
00:13:28,535 --> 00:13:29,596
肯定就给吓坏了
284
00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:34,119
可是如果会功夫的话
285
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,535
我是来把你从阿富汗安全带走的
286
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,753
但在我们逃离这里之前
287
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,765
我必须先从那个阿富汗商人手中
288
00:13:43,974 --> 00:13:45,917
救一个人质出来
289
00:13:46,221 --> 00:13:47,173
这人质是谁啊
290
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,108
美国总统的女儿
291
00:13:48,638 --> 00:13:49,861
那这阿富汗商人
292
00:13:50,042 --> 00:13:51,253
肯定得是本拉登吧
293
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,985
他们将付出代价！
294
00:13:57,643 --> 00:13:58,816
来救我的特工牺牲了
295
00:13:59,157 --> 00:14:01,121
所以我们已经跟美国失去了联系
296
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,506
要想逃出这里
297
00:14:05,653 --> 00:14:07,899
我们就只能靠自己！
298
00:14:10,986 --> 00:14:11,667
那无所谓
299
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,598
只要别耽误我找本拉登
300
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,274
他还拖欠我50万送货费呢
301
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,846
你做的这一切就只是为了一女孩？
302
00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:38,489
其实就是为了自己
303
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,567
能从分手后的世界顺利逃走
304
00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:45,926
你的神不在这里
305
00:14:57,694 --> 00:14:58,746
差时症
306
00:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,546
给我50万！
307
00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,697
你得买什么？
308
00:15:42,181 --> 00:15:42,892
献计献策
309
00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:45,228
对不起
310
00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:46,665
我在未来
311
00:15:46,749 --> 00:15:47,521
把这款游戏打通了
312
00:15:48,644 --> 00:15:51,030
所以，你把这个时代的王倩取代了
313
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:56,228
而且我是差时症痊愈以后的王倩
314
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,100
我跟你
315
00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,407
还有过去的王倩
316
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,703
已经完全不一样了
317
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:03,864


明白
318
00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227
不过还好
319
00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020
你把那游戏又给了我
320
00:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141
这样我就能回去找原来的王倩
321
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660
就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候
322
00:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541
我们也不会在一块很久
323
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494
因为我的差时症很快就没有了
324
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277
我知道
325
00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203
到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次
326
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095
献计献策
327
00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501
虽然我没法再喜欢你了
328
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229
可你这么浪费自己
329
00:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721
我心里很难过
330
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794
都回去吧
331
00:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289
我还得接着打游戏呢
332
00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367
你想过么
333
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114
如果你一直留在现在
334
00:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161
也许我们有一天还会在一起
335
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932
那样
336
00:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919
也只是因为你在可怜我吧
337
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178
就这样吧
338
00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146
过去的王倩
339
00:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064
还在等着我呢
340
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043
最后
341
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555
像每个人期望的那样
342
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853
李献计打穿了游戏
343
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161
接着就真的出现了一扇门
344
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392
他可以回到过去了
345
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660
可同时他也发现
346
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561
这样的门并不只有一扇
347
00:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975
穿过这些门
348
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778
你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒
349
00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598
也可能是刚出生的第一秒
350
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496
李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候
351
00:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027
所以
352
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485
在他找到正确的门之前
353
00:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150
他就只能一遍又一遍地
354
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150
重复着之前做过的事情
355
00:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988
进入一扇门后的世界
356
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822
在那里打穿游戏
357
00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096
然后进入另外一扇门
358
00:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655
并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去
359
00:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821
在这个漫长的过程中
360
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401
李献计开始变得圆滑
361
00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885
他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕
362
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973
双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味


363
00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:18,020
皮肤也没法在夏天感受到蚊子的起落
364
00:18:18,747 --> 00:18:19,789
他也逐渐知道
365
00:18:19,969 --> 00:18:21,622
爱情并不是生命的全部
366
00:18:22,582 --> 00:18:24,456
也许他可以在某扇门后停下来
367
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,150
做一些其他事儿
368
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,844
遇见一些其他的人
369
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,234
他有时候会梦见一群人向自己走来
370
00:18:33,944 --> 00:18:34,877
王倩也在里边儿
371
00:18:36,013 --> 00:18:38,000
可李献计却无论如何也没法记起
372
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,900
王倩的样子
373
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:40,967
就站在那儿
374
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:41,941
眼睁睁地
375
00:18:42,024 --> 00:18:43,672
跟整个人群错身而过
376
00:18:45,063 --> 00:18:45,974
他醒来
377
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,240
像个老人一样地坐在床边
378
00:18:48,288 --> 00:18:49,979
沮丧了很久
379
00:18:51,116 --> 00:18:53,551
李献计又开始寻找那扇正确的门
380
00:18:56,466 --> 00:18:57,388
直到有一天
381
00:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,739
他打开一扇门
382
00:18:59,301 --> 00:19:00,264
那儿刚下完雨
383
00:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,197
日落前的橙色包裹着人们
384
00:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,249
大家看上去都比平时要高兴
385
00:19:07,289 --> 00:19:08,984
空气既凉爽又新鲜
386
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,507
就像迎面看见的王倩
387
00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,747
即使最简单的对视
388
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,028
也能刺伤李献计坚硬神经的最深处
389
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,417
那就是他第一次见到的王倩
390
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,025
一点儿也没变
391
00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:23,727
可李献计
392
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:26,201
却再也没法向前迈出一步
393
00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,873
因为透过那些雨后留下的深渊的映照
394
00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:32,234
他知道，这么久以来
395
00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:33,738
他们两人之中
396
00:19:34,445 --> 00:19:35,176
时间
397
00:19:35,313 --> 00:19:36,343
只在自己身上
398
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,962
汹涌地流逝了
399
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,791
最后李献计说
400
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,492
见到王倩时
401
00:19:46,235 --> 00:19:48,440
就像瞬间经历了整个人生
402
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,666
心里很平静


~~台词。。。

中间有缺的

。。。。