Should you find yourself on the receiving end of this kind of compiaining, there's an ingenious way to shut it down——which is to agree with it, ardently. Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb describes this as " over-validation". For one thing, you'll be spared further moaning, since the other person's motivation was to confirm her beliefs, and now you're confirming them. But for another, people confronted with over-validation often hear their complaints afresh and start arguing back. The notion that they're utterly powerless suddenly seems unrealistic- -not to mention rather annoying- -so they're prompted instead to generate ideas about how they might change things.