In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for yourself, for your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt youbefore, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one thing you can be totally selfish about.
——Doc Childre &Howard Martin, The Heart Math Solution
从长远的眼光来看, 问题不在于他们是否值得宽恕。 你宽恕他们并非是为他们着想, 而是为了自己, 为了自己的健康和福利而去宽恕, 这是最省事的选择。 宽恕使你远离愤怒所带来的极大毒害和精力消耗。 别让这些人无条件地居住在你的大脑中。 如果他们曾经伤害你, 为什么你还年复一年地让他们在你的心灵中继续作害? 这不值得, 你要用心努力才能制止这一切。 你可以集中心力去宽恕, 以便找回自己。 这完全是一件利己的事。
——奇尔德博士、 霍华德·马丁 《心智算数解决方案》