Yesterday I called my father,trying to make a further amends for our broken relations. I asked him what he was doing,he told me he was watching tv at my aunt's home. So I asked why the tv in our home hadn't installed yet. As usual,he answered no money. I questioned in an annoyed way"why don't you go and find one." He started to pity himself,like he couldn't find any one, cause he was too old to drive again. Then all I wanted to do was to end this conversation by hanging up the phone. But we didn't, our conversation escalated tenser and he insulted my mother even my mother's sister as cheaters who cheated him out of his money. What the fuck! What the fuck does he know? Now I begin to question whether he has any conscience. How I envy those girls who can rely on their fathers all the time while mine trying to ruin me every time. I am both destroying and recovering the whole time. I wish I had never been born,cause my mother deserves so much better and so she does.