With the recent disasters in Myanmar and Sichuan, my existing fear of natural calamities has skyrocketed to an irrational and unprecendented paranoia. The rain came pouring down in Koh Samui yesterday afternoon. There was lightening, followed by thunder. The tree in front of our cabin fell. OUr roof started leaking profusely. I curled up in a fetal position on the bed and shoved makeup remover cotton pads in my ears as my sister and all her friends looked at me as if I was nuts. The rain did stop eventually, but in that moment, I was scared and I began to feel maybe a tiny per cent of what some of these victims/survivors in Myanmar and southwest China's earthquake stricken areas might have been thinking in the milli-seconds, seconds or minutes right before the hit...
Panic. Loss of control. Powerless to mother nature. Optionless. Human beings like to be in the driving seat. My fear of flying is that as a passenger, I submit my trust to all things outside of me, the pilot, the plane, the weather... The spectrum between the ability to shape our destiny and that of determinism is far and wide, kinda like science and religion. But there's a meeting point. We might not see it now, but I think there could be an equilibrium. Two things coming from the opposite direction, like the yin and yang of life are connected.
My plane boards in 30 minutes. The weather looks great today. I will miss this beautiful place called Thailand and the countless 7-11's. The people are friendly, all the public washrooms are clean, and the "Lady Boys" make me feel ever so envious...Wow... Signing off for now. 7:18 am:)