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【随笔】唉,估计也没人能看见

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已经好久没有这种感觉了,上一次还是在高三下学期刚开学的那会。记得书上说,情绪低谷是有周期性的,时隔半年,难道又莫名地跌入低谷了吗?
记得半年前,正是冲刺高考的关键阶段,我正准备大干一场时,却莫名的,莫名的,陷入了低谷。考试徘徊在20名,而心思也完全集中不到学习上,想的无疑是两臻一蒙←_←两个现实中的人还有一个网络上的人,莫名的,莫名的,害怕,不知是害怕学习,还是害怕感情。
现在,我又陷入了这样的境地。这奇怪的感觉从何而来?是在担心什么嘛?还是在害怕什么?
今天,我和我男神←_←钱臻,带着个拖油瓶高达义去新街口浪了。当然,主要目的是给钱臻送球拍,还有和高达义办公交卡。下午基本没做什么事,因为没啥好玩,但我还是挺开心的,毕竟能和男神一起逛街←_←而且男神一度首次躺进了我怀里……
但是,回到学校,一切感觉似乎就变了……看着西蒙犯蠢,看到一半宽带突然断了,而我的情绪也像宽带一样,突然跌入了谷底。
又这样毫无征兆的,莫名的,莫名的,跌入了情绪低谷。
到底为什么?这奇怪的感觉到底从何而来?为什么胸闷心慌?为什么喉咙里恶心而肚子却一直饿得咕咕叫←_←
我是在担心什么嘛?我有什么好担心的?担心迪米吗?但我现在已经不太在意成绩了;担心男友吗?但我有男友吗?劳资已经习惯单身了;那还担心什么?担心什么啊?
我是在害怕什么嘛?我有什么好害怕的?害怕爱我的人吗?我又不爱她我害怕个毛;害怕我爱的人吗?反正他们都对我爱理不理的,我也习惯了;那还害怕什么?害怕什么啊?
我到底该怎么办?是不是你们都觉得我很烦?我到底该怎么办?为什么你们都对我这么冷淡?
我真的不知道,我到底该怎么办……


IP属地:江苏来自iPhone客户端1楼2014-10-12 22:43回复
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    2楼2014-10-13 17:11
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      2025-06-01 07:38:37
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      The three stories reminded me of some words that may influence my life and I translate them into English as follows . Life is like adandelion , seemingly free , but it must deny something more or lese . We don't care about something not because ee don't want to but it doesn't matter even if we care about . Life has no " ifs " , but only consequences and results . It is only you rather than others that can take control of your life .
      In the first story , the author was forced to learn Chinese which he failed twice and felt tired of . However , as soon as he was finally allowed to quit Chinese , an earthquake changed his mind . I was a little confused about the ending of the story . What on earth changed his mother's mind ? And also , what on earth changed his mind ? I really appreciate it that the author can manage his own life which may seem rebel to the parents . We should listen to others' advice , but we don't to follow everything from others' mind . It is our own life , so we have the rights to do something we love and refuse to do something we hate , but as I said at the beginning , sometimes we must do something we are unwilling to do it , and it is life .
      The second story described what great changes it took to Tommy before , in and after a
      math marathon . When you smile , everyone smiles with you ; but when you cry , only you are crying . As echo once put it " Apart from crossing by youreself ,others can't help you . " No matter what happened , whether you love or you hate , life will continue . The only thing you should do is to find your way again .
      In the third story , also , I was puzzled about the ending like the first story . Perhaps I can use the words I provided at the beginning to explain it again , but I don't want to repeat the same work .
      When it comes to me , there is no exception . In senior 1 , I love history and politics much more than physics and chemistry , so it seemed no wonder that I would choose arts rather than science . However , having had enough of the constant pressure from my parents and headteacher who is a chemistry teacher , I finally chose science , which was prove to be the biggest mistake I made in my life till now . For my rest senior years , I felt really lonely , but what can I do ? Finally , when I found my way , the failure in college entrance examination broke me down .
      Such is life , seemingly free and actually not . You are trying to escape from the constraint , and when you finally find you are free , your life is over and your story comes to an end . Life is like a drama ; life will become a drama in the end .
      There are some more words before what I translated at the beginning , and in the end , I want to share them with all of you : Something that seems important to you today may be gone with wind tomorrow ; Something that seems important to you this year may become a story the next year ; Something that seems important to you in your life may be a legand after your death .


      IP属地:江苏来自iPhone客户端3楼2014-10-22 22:05
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