1.小气鬼
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus.
今天，我老板决定：圣诞节就要来了，给每人发个水杯，并对大家说声“谢谢”就是圣诞福利了。

2. 吃货
Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot.
今天老板发现我被女朋友甩了。老板问我是不是以后就没有小甜饼吃了。问题得到肯定回答后，他当场炒了我。

3.无厘头
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in.
今天，无聊的同事把我绑在椅子上，抓我痒痒。更可恶的是，老板也参与了！

4.不靠谱
Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003.
今天，老板宣布公司倒闭了。我失业了，呜呜。这是坏消息。好消息是我的老板送给我们麦当劳九折优惠劵。可是，2003年优惠劵就过期了！

5.迷信
Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer.
今天，我和同事们发现老板的商业战略都是从占星家和预言家那里得到的！