玩微信漂流瓶，捡了一个深圳滴的瓶子，一共23秒。前二十秒一声不吭，最后三秒只说了一句：sb你在还听啊。。卧槽泥马！！！！

啊

刚刚去理发，发现理发师手臂上好几条疤，就问他疤怎么弄的。「艾玛年轻不懂事混社会。后来觉得没前途就去学剪头了呗，给一人说我给他剪的不好看我和他吵了起来。没想到这狗逼犊子叫人砍我，我拿手挡了几下。不过还好，后来我叫道上兄弟全给他们送医院了。你看这发型满意不？」「非。常。满。意。」I

上午，几个人一块走，一个人说：看，有只死鸟，估计是昨晚冻死的。其他人都往前看，只有哥抬着脑袋，往天上看：哪呢…我怎么没看见……

小时候，我最喜欢玩捉迷藏，等别人藏好了，我就回家吃饭。

没人来给我送经验么？

你情敌和曾经背叛你的人同时掉入河中，并且他们不会游泳，你是选择蹦迪还是去KTV？

贱神来了

没人那就先容我点根烟。。。

还是去剑三吧水吧

我错了！我真错了！！不该去剑网三吧的楼主已死

She hangs out every day near by the beach
Havin' a HEINEKEN fallin' asleep
She looks so sexy when she's walking the sand
Nobody ever put a ring on her hand
Swim to the oceanshore fish in the sea
She is the story the story is she
She sings to the moon and the stars in the sky
Shining from high above you shouldn't ask why
She is the one that you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
Oh, she must be the reason why
God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
She puts the rhythm,
The beat in the drum
She comes in the morning
And the evening she's gone
Every little hour every second you live
Trust in eternity that's what she gives
She looks like Marilyn,
Walks like Suzanne
She talks like Monica and Marianne
She wins in everything that she might do
And she will respect you forever just you
She is the one that you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
Oh, she must be the reason why
God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
She is so pretty all over the world
She is so pretty
She is like you and me
Like them like we
She is in you and me
She is the one that you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
Oh, she must be the reason why
God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
(She is the one) She is the one
(That you never forget) That you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
She must be the reason why
God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world (oh...)
Na na na na na …I

十五字十五字十五字十五字十五字十五字

水贴——说！你要啥自行车！！！要啥自行车！！！！