1、Don't fight over something that's none of your business, or that you can't do anything about.（不要去为那些“事不关己”，抑或是你“无能为力”的事情而争论。)

2、Think about the consequences of the argument. Are they worth it? （多想想争论后的结果：这些结果真的值得去争论吗？）

3、Determine what the conflict is really about (e.g. Are you really angry that your spouse takes a long time getting ready, or do you feel she's disrespectful for making you wait?). Once you do this, then decide if it's worth bringing up. If it is, address the underlying issue, not the superficial one. （测定一下真正的冲突在哪里？如：你是真的为配偶磨磨蹭蹭而生气，还是因为你认为她不尊重而让你等待？一旦你这样做了，就应决定冲突是否值得被挑起。如果值得，就直截了当说出真正让你不爽的原因，而不要把表面的东西拿出来说事。）

4、Make sure the argument is going to solve something. （务必确保争论能解决问题。）

5、Don't fight just because you "feel you've been challenged." （不要仅仅因为“你觉得你被挑战了”，就去争论。）

6、Ask yourself, "Is it really a big deal?" Chances are that it's not. （问问你自己：“这真的有那么重要吗？”一般来说，都没多大的事儿。）

7、Realize that you don't always have to have the last word, and often it takes the "bigger person" to simply let the conflict go. （应该清楚你并不需要永远是那个做总结陈词的人，通常情况下，这会让“大人物”来大事化小，小事化了。）

8、Ask yourself, "Am I really right? Does it matter if I'm right? Is there really a 'right or wrong' for this issue?" （问问你自己：“我真的是对的吗？“我是对的”真的那么重要吗？这件事真的会有“孰对孰错”之分吗？）

0、选择“战役”前，三思而行，“Any fool can criticize, complain, condemn -- and most fools do. Picking your battles is impressive and fighting them fairly is essential.” （任何一个傻子都会批评、抱怨、声讨—大多数傻子也都是这样做的。懂得选择你的“战役”是不平凡的，漂亮地打赢它们是完美的。”）

恩

职业路过