（一个美籍华裔女性朋友写了这样一段话，我把它翻译成了中文）
当你种莴苣的时候，如果它长得不好，你不会责备莴苣。你需要找到它长得不好的原因。它可能需要肥料，或更多的水，或少晒点阳光。你决不会责备莴苣。
然而，如果我们的婚姻出了问题，我们通常会责备对方或环境。但是如果我们懂得如何关心我们的伴侣，他们会好起来，像莴苣成长一样。责备没有任何作用，也不要用自己的理由和观点去说服对方。我的经验是：首先尽量找出原因，确定自己的问题，然后找到最佳的解决方法。
另外，只是对方没有照你想要的方式爱你，不代表他们不会给你全部的爱。
最后，最重要的是：我们女人，经济必须独立。
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with the marriage, we usually blame the other person,or situation. But if we know how to take care of our partners, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience,always try to find out the reason first, fix my own problems, then look for the best solution.
In addition, Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Finally, the most important thing is: we , as a woman, have to be financial independent!
当你种莴苣的时候，如果它长得不好，你不会责备莴苣。你需要找到它长得不好的原因。它可能需要肥料，或更多的水，或少晒点阳光。你决不会责备莴苣。
然而，如果我们的婚姻出了问题，我们通常会责备对方或环境。但是如果我们懂得如何关心我们的伴侣，他们会好起来，像莴苣成长一样。责备没有任何作用，也不要用自己的理由和观点去说服对方。我的经验是：首先尽量找出原因，确定自己的问题，然后找到最佳的解决方法。
另外，只是对方没有照你想要的方式爱你，不代表他们不会给你全部的爱。
最后，最重要的是：我们女人，经济必须独立。
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with the marriage, we usually blame the other person,or situation. But if we know how to take care of our partners, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience,always try to find out the reason first, fix my own problems, then look for the best solution.
In addition, Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Finally, the most important thing is: we , as a woman, have to be financial independent!
