After ten years of wanton ego-stroking masquerading as charitable works, renowned musical prostitute David Ford announces a shift from the popular Milk&Cookies format that has raised over £45,000 for good causes to focus upon the serving of his own suspicious interests.
When asked about his reasons for shunning the needy in such a heartless fashion, Ford replied, “It’s the standard business model for the twenty-first century. Over the past five years, I have taken a thriving music production and performance enterprise and turned it into a debt-laden money pit with very grim future prospects. In keeping with the precedent laid down by the brave heroes of the banking sector, I believe my efforts at running a business into the ground can only be properly rewarded with a fat filthy bonus. It’s only right and fair.”
The announcement has been met with widespread condemnation from a music industry sickened by Ford’s audacious method of financing future record production. An anonymous spokesperson said, “It really is quite disgusting that somebody would ask people to buy a reasonably priced ticket for a performance and then use the money to make an album. It’s just plain wrong. If modern times have taught us anything, it’s that a record should be the culmination of a well-orchestrated marketing campaign or a televised talent show, not the like-for-like exchange of money for goods and services. I mean, if we let so-called artists behave in this way, they’ll most likely produce musical works with absolutely no regard for the proper requirements of commercial radio or TV advertisement and then what do you have? Anarchy!”
The artistic community has been similarly up in arms. Its objections stemming from the fact that Ford would stoop to such extreme measures, not even considering the more established protocol of selling theoretical copies of the not-yet-made album along with favours and signed trinkets in hopes of raising the necessary capital. Such is the controversy surrounding this shameless cash grab, Ford’s own manager Dave Wibberley was heard to remark, “I don’t know what’s happened, he’s completely out of control.”
Music lovers are being urged not to attend the performances at Leeds Empire on Friday December 16th and London’s Bush Hall on Monday December 19th unless they wish to support this loathsome upstart in his musical endeavours and ensure the continuation of a truly vile career.
DF自己把以前的公益集资活动M&C改成这次自称是“唯利是图的混蛋发起地不要脸的钱财筹集活动”。 Ford’s own manager Dave Wibberley:“I don’t know what’s happened, he’s completely out of control.” 其实我也不知道会发生什么,等这个活动办了之后看大家有什么评价吧。
Ford's Christmas Bonus - TICKETS ON SALE NOW! The Empire, Leeds December 16 wegottickets@com/event/141079 Bush Hall, London December 19 wegottickets@com/event/141080