a fantasy
when the ambassador returned home for lunch, his wife got a shock. he looked pale and his clothes were in a frightful state.
what has happened, she asked how did your clothes get into such a mess?
a fire extinguisher, (my dear) said(answered) the ambassador(Ambassador) drily. university students set the embassy on fire this morning.
good heaven. she exclaimed, and where were you at the time?
I was in my office as usual, answered the ambassador, the fire broke out in the basement. i went down immediately, of course. that fool, Horst aimed a fire extinguisher at me. he thought i was on fire. i must definately(definitely) got that fellow posted.
the ambassador's wife went on asking questions, when she suddenly noticed a big hole in her husband's hat.
how can you explain that, she asked.
oh that, he said. someone fired a shot through my office window. accurate, don't you think. fortunately, i was not wearing it at the time. if i had been, i would not be able to get home for lunch.


who eats who? 晚餐吃什么fish and chips is(has always been) a favortie dish in britain. but as the oceans have been overfished, fish has become more and more expensive.so it comes as a surprise to learn that giant fish is terrifying(terrifying) the divers on north sea(North Sea) oil rigs. the() oil rigs have to be repaired frequently and divers who often have to work in the() darkness two(one) hundred feet under water, have been frightened out of their wits by giant fish bumping into them as they work. now they have(have had) special cages made to protect them from these monsters. the fish are not sharks or killer whales, but favorite eating varieties, like cod and skate, which grow to unnatural sizes, sometimes as much as twelve feet in lengh. three factors have caused these fish to grow so large: the warm water around the hot oil pipes under the sea; the plentiful supply of food thrown overboard by the crews on the rigs; total absence of fishing boats around the oil rigs. as a result,it (the fish) just eat and eat grow and grow in the lovely warm water. who eats who?
three man in a basket 三人同篮a pilot noticed a ballon which seemed to be making for a royal airforce nearby. He informed the station at once. but no one there was able to explain the mystery.the officer in the control tower was very angry when he heard the news, because balloons can be a great danger to aircraft. he said that someone might be spying on the station and the pilot was ordered to keep track of the strange object.the pilot managed to circle the balloon (for some time) and(.) he could make out three man in the basket under it and one of them was holding a pair of binoculars. when the balloon was over the station, he(the pilot) saw one of the men taking photographs.soon afterwards, the balloon began to descend and it landed near an airfield. the police were called in, but they could not arrest anyone.because the basket contained two members(M) of the parliament(P) and the commanding officer(C O) of the station. as the commanding officer explained later, one half of the station didn't know what the other half was doing.
asking for trouble 自找麻烦It must be(have been) about two in the morning, when i got(returned) home. i tried to wake up my wife by ringing the doorbell, but she was fast asleep. (so)i got a ladder from the shed in the garden, put it against the wall and began climbing towards the bedroom window.i was almost there when a sarcastic voice below said,"i dont think the windows need cleaning at this time of the night"i looked down and nearly fell of the ladder when i saw a police(man). i immediatley regretted answering in the way i did. but i said, "i enjoy cleaning windows at night"so do i answered the policeman in the same tune(tone), excuse my interrupting, i hate to interrupt a man when he was(is) busy working. (but)would you mind coming with me to the station?well, i'd prefer to stay here, i said, you see, i've forgotten my keys(key).your what? asked the policeman(he called)my keys(key), i shouted.fortunately, the shouting woke up my wife who opened the window as the policeman started to climb towards me.

future champion
experiment(s) have proved that children can instructed in swimming at a very early age. at a special swimming pool,in Los Angel(e)s, children become expert at holding their breath (under water)even before they can walk. babies of two months old don't appear to be reluctant to enter water. it is not long before they are so accustomed to swimming that they can pick up the weights from the floor of the pool. a game which(that) is very popular with these young children(swimmers) is (the)underwater tricycle race. tricycles are lined up on
the floor of the pool seven feet under water. (the)children completed(complete) against each other
to reach the other end of the pool. many perdal(pedal) the(ir) tricycles, but most of them prefer to push or drag them. some children can cover the whole length(of the pool) without coming up for breath (even once). whether they will become Olympic Champion, only time will tell. meanwhile, they should encourage those among us who can't swim five yards before (they are) gasping for air.