I was eating breakfast in the dining hall when she came up to me.
I didn’t know her name.
I didn’t know who she was.
But her face was bright red, she was all dressed up, and her friends were watching from afar. I decided to give her my ultimate attention in order to not embarrass her.
She opened her mouth, and out came the words, “Hi… I’m Maria… I have a crush on you. Will you… go out with me?”
My eyes widened. She looked at me, full of hope, her face turning redder by the second.
Finally, I found my voice.
“I’m sorry.”
I watched in slight amusement as her face turned slightly purple. I tried to look apologetic, but her facial expressions were much too amusing to keep a straight face. I had to look away to stop myself from laughing.
Staring at my bowl of honey-nut cheerios and listening intently, I heard her run away and burst into tears. I could feel her friends glare at me, but I ignored it.
I laughed to myself.
There was no possible way for me to go out with her.
Jesus Christ, I didn’t even know her name until she told me.
Maria.
Who the hell is that? I don’t know of a Maria that goes to our school.
Whatever.
Returning to my breakfast, I finished eating and walked to class.
Later in the day, my best friends walked up to me. “Hey dude! Heard you rejected Maria!”
Well. News travels fast, I guess. Especially since she confessed in such a public area.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“You got guts, man. She’s the most popular girl in the school! Now, most of the guys and some of the girls hate you.”
She was the most popular girl in the school? Damn. I must be really antisocial and in the box for not knowing that.
“But Chuck, you don’t hate me for it.” I pointed out.
“Mmm.”
That's all that mattered.
Really.
He sat down in the chair in front of my desk, laying his head on my table. I studied him.
Chuck was strongly built, unlike my small frame. He had a muscular torso, and girls fell head over heels for him because of it. Of course, his handsome looks and electric green eyes helped, too.
His hair fell in his face a lot. I stretched out my hand and helped him push his hair back.
“You should really get a hair cut.” I murmured.
He smiled up at me.
He had a beautiful smile. His teeth were really white, too.
“Wanna do it for me?” He asked. He probably wasn’t serious, but whatever.
“Sure!” I grinned at his slightly shocked expression. “You’d be surprised, but I’m pretty good with my hands.”
My suggestive comment led his cheeks to turn slightly pink.
He then whacked me on the back. “Don’t say things like that. People will misunderstand. People will think you masturbate every night.”
My eyes widened, and I feigned, “You don’t?”
He whacked me again. “Maybe, but I don’t tell the whole 

world about it.”
Chuck came over to my house so I could cut his hair for him.
He fell asleep as I gave him a trim. After I finished, I sat next to him.
I could feel his warmth on my skin, even though we were not touching. I could smell his scent. Was it cologne?
No. He isn’t the type of guy to wear cologne. Heck, if he cared enough to wear cologne he would have done something about his hair ages ago. It was so long it went past his shoulders.
How was it that he could pull off the long hair? If I grew my hair out, I would look like a girl.
I guess that’s just how attractive people are. Make them wear a garbage bag, chop up their hair, and they’d still look great.
I groaned. I wondered if he knew that I felt something special towards him.
I watched his eyelashes flutter. He opened his eyes drowsily.
“Dude, why didn’t you wake me up if you were done?”
I just smiled back and didn’t respond.
How could I tell him that I was observing him while he was sleeping?
The next day, that girl came up to me again.
I raised my eyebrows in slight shock, slightly wary. I didn’t want her to confess again.
That would be too weird.
But all she said was, “Hey, Alec. Can I be friends with you?”
I didn’t respond.
She took it as a yes.
She started following me around. Eating breakfast with me, eating lunch with me, watching me play sports… the only person that wasn’t weirded out by her was Chuck.
So it became the three of us.
Although Chuck and I were not very willing, we were too nice to say anything.
Finally, one day, Chuck got sick. The only ones around were Maria and me.
I decided to confront her.
“Hey.”
She smiled, looking genuinely happy. I guess it was because this was the first time I started a conversation with her.
I took a deep breath, and said, “Why are you doing this?”
Her expression of shock led me to wonder whether I had phrased my question badly.
“I like you, remember?” She retorted, slightly indignant.
I shook my head.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t buy that.”
She stood up, looking down at me.
“Why not? Do you think you’re unattractive, that you have no appeal? Are you wondering why a girl like me would like a guy like you? Do you hang around Chuck because he’s masculine and muscular, something you think you’re not? Do you really think that Chuck is so much more handsome than you?”
I was shocked. She had read me so well, so completely. It was a little intimidating, and a little scary.
“Well let me tell you. No you are not unattractive. Chuck may be muscular, but that’s not my type. He’s handsome. But so are you. And you’re smart. You’re intelligent, and can have an interesting conversation. A girl like me, who needs a man that can compliment her, needs a guy like you. 

Not like Chuck.”
She took a deep breath.
Why were her outbursts always so…. public?
That was my first thought.
Then I realized, she had just confessed to me all over again. She, along with the rest of the dining hall, was staring at me.
I wanted to shake my head.
I wanted to refuse, again.
But the fear of peer pressure and the knowledge that she would ask me why if I said no scared the hell out of me.
My secret was one that I could not tell.
It had haunted me for two years already, but I could not come out. I knew that everyone would shun me if I did.
Especially Chuck.
So I nodded. Very slightly.
And the entire dining hall was in uproar, cheering for Maria, who was smiling broadly and leapt into my arms.
I wanted to dodge her, but I knew I couldn’t.
After Chuck came back, I noticed changes in our relationship.
I did not want to tell him that I had accepted Maria. But Maria, and her friends, were such blabbermouths that he found out the minute he stepped into school.
He stopped coming to my classroom.
He stopped eating lunch with me.
He looked away every time I tried to catch his gaze.
I knew he was looking at me when I wasn’t. We had been friends, best friends, for so long.
He was hurt.
And I didn’t know why.
Maria still followed me around while I tried to ignore her. She sent death glares to the girls that looked my way.
Girls were afraid of me. Guys hated me. Chuck avoided me.
I had nothing left.
Finally, Maria was tired of it.
She confronted me, like how I had confronted her months before.
“Why don’t you act like a proper boyfriend?” She demanded.
I shook my head. Confrontation in the dining hall, again?
“Tell me.”
I stayed silent.
“We haven’t even gone on dates. Haven’t kissed. Haven’t done anything. Am I just invisible to you? Did you say yes just because everyone was looking at you?” She started choking up.
She stared at me, willing me to say something with her large, blue eyes.
Finally, I decided to respond.
“Am I here just to appease your sexual desires?”
She was shocked. Hurt.
“Everything you said seemed like it.” I went on.
She was silent.
“Well let me tell you the truth. I didn’t want to say yes to you. I didn’t even want you to become ‘friends’ with me. I never responded when you asked, remember? You just assumed.
Well time to wake up, because you’re not the princess you think you are. You can’t get everyone you want.
You never had me. You can’t lose me, because you never had me.”
I walked away.
She screamed behind me, “**** you! How can you play with my feelings like that! You asshole, you son of a bitch, you…” She disintegrated into tears.
I walked away and didn’t look back.
All day long, I was glared at for – quote – breaking her heart.
Well, she broke mine.
Seeing as it was her fault that Chuck stayed away from me.
I stayed at my seat the entire day.
That afternoon, Chuck came to find me.
“Hey man.”
I looked up. He was sitting in the seat in front of me again.
I rubbed my eyes.
He snatched my hand. “Don’t do that. It’s bad for your eyes.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You sound like my mom.”
He just smiled.
“Hey, you’re not mad at me anymore?”
“No. I never was… Just…” He looked unsure of himself, unsure of whether he wanted to tell me.
I understood.
I stood up and we walked to someplace more private. We chose a spot behind the dining hall, away from the crowds. I leaned on the brick building. He stood facing me.
“Just…”
I searched for his response in his eyes.
We stared at each other for a couple seconds, basking in silence.
Then, he pressed his body close to mine, and enclosed me in his arms.
I was shocked.
He whispered, “I’m… gay.”
Then he kissed me.
It seemed like an eternity before we broke apart for air.
He whispered in my ear, “I’m gay.. and I’m in love with you.”
I just smiled.
And then I said, “I’ve been gay for two years.”
His shocked expression was cute.
And then he kissed me again.
We embraced.
It would be our secret, before we would be bold enough to tell the world.


i was considering writing gl sometime~~~ ahh but there's so much to do~~~